Doesn't Matter

Words do not matter. We will write it again, for emphasis: words do not matter. It's very popular in this day and age to believe that saying some kind of special magic words will make you a better human being, will change your life. The current president of the United States believes this.

But it's just not true. Character is revealed through action, not through some ethereal state of being that one attains internally. You can't change yourself; you are who you are. You can only do different things than you used to do.

The internet and its network of blogs, chat rooms, message boards, and the like, is an easy place to forget this. When you're on the internet, you're not really doing much. (This doesn't make it bad to be on the internet, or to be doing not much. Remember the Tao of Steve.) Most of us on the internet are fine with this, but some people begin to confuse hanging out on the internet with actual work.

Well, OK, writing on the internet can be actual work. But it's just producing words for other people to read and think about. Maybe you'll change their mind with your spectacular ideas, but probably not; most human minds are much too complicated to change.

Maybe some day you'll be in a position to yell fire in a crowded theater or broadcast hate-filled propaganda in order to ignite mass slaughter, but we certainly hope not. Words do occasionally incite people to action, but not in any predictable way. And certainly not in any admirable way. Inciting a mob is nothing to be proud of.

We love to read at the Blasphemy Blog, but we believe that the only true value in reading the words of others is that it causes us to think. And sometimes that thought spurs us to action. You may say that you take Jesus Christ as your personal savior. Then, you will think about what that means. Then, you will do something. It might be good; it might not. But the goodness or badness comes from the action itself. The words alone are like a flame in a vacuum.

Who?

We are getting old at the Blasphemy Blog. This Pete Doherty character is the first rock n' roll star to rise to fame and then flame out on the drugs before we've even heard of him. Hopefully we get points for actually liking his music OK.

Here's How

The only way to create democracy in the Middle East:

1. Let the dictators, be they evil secular thugs or murderous Islamists, take over. They're going to anyway, so just let it happen. Oh don't sulk. We do it all the time.

2. Wait out the first generation, then the second. (The second generation will be less ideological than the first, but much nastier, possibly psychopathic.)

3. In the third generation, a revolution will occur as the oppressed populace overthrows their evil, corrupt leaders. The murderous Islamists will be replaced by evil secular thugs. The evil secular thugs will be replaced by murderous Islamists. After a brief period of sunshine, the oppression will continue, just a different kind.

4. The fourth generation will suck just as bad as the third. Maybe worse. There's still nothing you can do. (There may be an opposition out there, but it will be fragmented, exiled, or corrupt. Possibly all three. Give them money and air time if you want, but don't look at any intelligence they give you, for God's sake.)

5. The fifth generation will see a thaw and a moderation. You can open some preliminary negotiations and reconnect any diplomatic ties you've broken if you want, but it won't matter because...

6. ...the sixth generation will be reactionary and extra thuggish. You can't really talk to them. Not much to say here except to wait for...

7. ...the seventh generation. This one will be tricky. This regime is still going to talk like it's just like all the other regimes, in terms of nastiness. However, watch what it actually does. (This will be especially hard for people who can't tell the difference between saying and doing.) It may be less nasty. You still won't be able to negotiate with it, because, well, negotiation requires talking, and when this regime talks it's still going to sound like the sixth generation. But there will be a difference. All you have to do is refrain from blowing anything up.

8. The eighth generation. Finally, we're getting somewhere. Like magic, they'll hold some elections, allow some free political speech, that sort of thing. It will be in fits and starts, and there might be some backsliding, but hopefully, at the end of it, you'll have a free country with professional golfers, a stock exchange, and eating disorders, the whole nine yards.

Unless, of course, outside circumstances, like war or extreme poverty, have turned the country into a borderline failed state. Then you're pretty much back to generation one.

Great Music

Another great song by another great band from Down Under: Cigarettes & Suitcases by Something for Kate.

We at the Blasphemy Blog have long considered Australia to be the country that does the most rockin' per capita, but most Australian rock is rarely played in the U.S. Our loss. (By which we mean the loss of the U.S., not the loss of We at the Blasphemy Blog, who know how to get the music we want when we want it.)

Don't We Have to Kill Him?

The head of Hezbollah, according to University of Michigan middle east scholar Juan Cole, has raised the possibility of bombing chemical factories in Israel. Cole regards the threat itself as a war crime, to say nothing of the actual doing of it. Professor Cole has a reputation as a severe critic of Israel's aggressive foreign policy, but he states plainly here that Israel has every right to kill a man who would threaten to gas innocent civilians.

As irresponsible pacifists, we at the Blasphemy Blog of course would oppose killing this guy. (His name is Nasrallah.) Why? Well, because it's wrong and it won't work.

Terrorists are nothing more than well-armed gangsters, and you can kill a gangster but there will always be more gangsters. Plus, killing people is bad for you. Really. They have done studies on it, and it turns out that killing people injures your psyche, no matter how much society tells you it's okay that you did it.

Unless, of course, your psyche is already damaged to the point where a little more damage won't matter much. But sending our psychos to kill their psychos is probably not the best way to guarantee the safety and security of the world.

So what should be done with Hezbollah's psycho? Arrest him. Put him on trial. Lock him up. We know, we know...there's not an effective international criminal court yet. But we're working on it, and some day there will be. Some day killing will just be a crime. Just you wait.

Twist, Please

We at the Blasphemy Blog were quite disappointed that we were not victorious in Tbogg's guess-the-surprise-ending-to-the-new-Shyamalan-movie contest. Unfortunately for us, everyone else had the same idea we did.

Tbogg initiated this contest to heap scorn upon M. Night Shyamalan, who tends to go for the twist ending that forces you to rethink completely the entire story. We confess that we have actually enjoyed the three twisty endings to the three Shyamalan movies we have seen. The visceral thrill of the surprise is like candy for us. And we're also gullible enough to fall for them every time.

But our favorite twist ending of all time? The Cold War. All that buildup, all those little hot wars and posturing, threats of world annihilation...but it ends with a bunch of ecstatic Germans swinging their pickaxes. What a twist.

Attempting to predict the future, as stockbrokers and CIA analysts do, is big business, and is so because no one can really do it. We all have our ideas about how things are going to turn out, but it seems like the harder we think about it, the more of our intellectual firepower we bring to bear on the future, the faster it slips away from us. How many smart observers of American culture thought that TV would be just a fad? How many knowledgable investment bankers passed on the personal computer? Even smart people can only guess.

And stupid people can be right sometimes, too.

Here's hoping we're headed for another twist ending in this "War on Whatever." We're thinking something with dolphins and a hip hop dance troupe. Now that would be unexpected.

Signs of the Apocalypse

The President of the United States has a simple solution for the current crisis in the middle east. (Not the Iraq one. The Israel/Lebanon one.)

Meanwhile, those who anticipate the Rapture feel closer and closer to being beamed naked up to heaven.

Serious people are contemplating the possible beginning of World War III.

But we at the Blasphemy Blog are not worried. Well, no more than usual. The continuing violence in the Middle East is awful, but it is also continuing. We see no particular evidence that this awful strife is any worse than the awful strife of last year or the year before.

Nevertheless, as is our role as irresponsible pacifists, we will be pointing out the things that are rotten about this particular awful strife. There is the sad re-re-occupation of Gaza by the Israeli army. There is the glee of warmongers everywhere as they celebrate the fact that at last their side is killing people again instead of negotiating and compromising. And, as always, there are the pictures of people who have been blown up, shot, or crushed.

Nonviolence is out of fashion these days. War is way cool these days. And the beat goes on.